I murdered the dance floor call the cops
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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