remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
