When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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