ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
