i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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