Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
