During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
