Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
