i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize