end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
