So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Michael Bay diarrhea
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Randomize
