Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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