Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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