Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
