So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
