i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
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Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
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My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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