u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
