Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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