I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
