your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
