champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
