I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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