i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
