You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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