I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just had sex bonerless
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize