I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
