I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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