you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
