Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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