You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I had to cum in my sink.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
