i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
tell me about the fingering
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