I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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