I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
