Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
