I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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