peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i think im in europe. pls send help
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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