Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
