glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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