She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
