The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
