dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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