i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I am morally bankrupt
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He felt like a one man threesome
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
