"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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