You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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