I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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