she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize