she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
