Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
