Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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