Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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