do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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