If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
