Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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