i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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