He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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