Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
