Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My bed is full of blood and feathers
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore