I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
