I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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